Ok so most of you know I gave birth to my first child back in May 2007. She is now 6 and a half weeks old and what a magical time this is for myself and Icarus. She is really cute and just amazes us both at all the changes that are going on with her growth rate each day. I think having a child together as a couple is the greatest gift you can give to one another.
When Liarra was born and the put her in my arms I was speechless could not say a word apart from "look at her isn't she wonderful". I finally was able to get some words together in the recovery room when the medical team had finally finished doing all their tests on Liarra to make sure she was all ok. They put Liarra in bed with me and kept her rugged up with me. Icarus lent over saying how gorgeous this all was. I looked at him and said "how could any parent out there not love their own child. How can people out there ever hurt or give up their own child. I just don't get it." I will never forget that moment. She was just perfect and I knew I loved her unconditionally and will do all I can for her. But I also felt a big sadness for all the babies born out there that don't have their mum feel this way about them and some opt to give their baby away. It was just a fleeting moment of thought but something that would come up again and again in the next month. As when we arrived up in the ward there were only 2 babies in the nursery in the hospital. One that was crying all night all day - and another one that was quiet as a mouse. The quiet one went home the next day so this left only the crying one and Liarra together in the nursery. 2 days passed and he was still scream crying all day all night - I did not know what was wrong with him but did not stick my nose into other peoples problems. As the week went on and new babies arrived there was one that still stood out - this screaming crying one - The only time I heard him go quiet was when the nurses wheeled him into the bathing area where we were bathing Liarra and just left him there to scream cry on his own - by now it was obvious there was something wrong with his mother and she was not taking him for nursing nor feeding. However this baby was in the room with us screaming and crying and Icarus was in the middle of singing to Liarra whilst she was getting her bath - for the first time all that week - the screaming baby that was in the room with us went quiet and he raised his little head up to look and just stare at us with Liarra. Just a look on his face of calmness not distress which is usually how he was. I walked out of the room with Liarra and Icarus and stopped at this babies crib and said hello to him and told him he will be ok. The moment we left the bathing area he went back to scream crying and did not stop. It was hard to walk away - when we left the hospital his cries could still be heard up to the point of the lift as we were leaving that floor. It was something that nerved me that baby and his cries - I still hear them today - but I was glad to hear that his mother did take him home in the end and she did not want to come back to the hospital when she was sent home for a rest from the hopsital for a couple of days. I hope that going home forced her to take over the care for him as this is what he desperately needed and was screaming out for - his mum.
So things go on for me and this memory and worry for this other baby starts to die down and eventually pass. Then over the past 3 or so weeks there has been 3 new born babies dumped on the news headlines. First one was dumped in a cardboard box at a hospital in Melbourne - the mother never came back to claim the baby girl even though there were pleas and money for her to come forward with massive amounts of help on offer from the community. That baby is now in foster care and is a ward of the state. The next baby was found dead in a Western Australian Recycle sorting depo - with the cord still attached to the baby - It had been dead for 3 weeks before it was found by garbage sorters. The third I just heard about briefly and could not bare to hear the details. All these babies would have been born around the same time as Liarra. It just gave me a chill - I felt angry at the mothers for not even trying to get rid of these babies through the massive support system that exists out there for adoption or fostering options. I felt disgust at these women no matter their circumstance they could have just given them up when they were born - the first dumping case I had some sympathy for the mother also - I knew how she must be feeling today without her baby - you can't just throw them away with a clean mind - that bond between your baby and the biological mother is a strong one no matter the state of the mother - she will be feeling immense pain today I am sure for giving up her baby - you can't just walk away like that without immense turmoil inside. She must be in a state today. She is out there somewhere - hiding what she has done. Thank god she did not throw her baby away like the second case. This one I have no sympathy for and I don't care what state the mother was in at the time there is NO excuse for throwing the baby in the recycle bin and walking away like it was a piece of rubbish. There were so many other options and how the hell did they live with themselves knowing that their baby was left to die in that bin and by three weeks when nothing was mentioned on the news surely they would have realized it was dead and not found yet. How the hell they felt when the news broke with the body been found I don't want to know but I hope the mother just feels crap for the rest of her life. There is no way she could live with herself today if she had any sense of humanity in her. I don't care what a shrink would say in the mothers defense this case should never of happened - and there is no excuse for this sort of thing happening in this day and age.
The third case I don't know the details and right now I don't want to know I am upset about these cases and don't think I want another one to worry about.
Anyway I love my baby but when I see things like this I still can't grasp that some women out there don't have this bond with theirs and if they do can ignore it and just dump their babies and walk away.
Isis